we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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