hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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