so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
