Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
