i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
