none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
