YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
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I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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