It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
