Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
