If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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