i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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