i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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