Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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