i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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