im about as happy as oj after his trial
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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