how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
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i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
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You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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