your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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