you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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