tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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