I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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