My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
