I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
