White coat. Heels.
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
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