textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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