she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
