Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
