A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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