You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
