Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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