My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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