I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize