Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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