He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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