I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
