so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
