i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
