It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
