Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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