It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
