Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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