There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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