It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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