you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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