I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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