You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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