he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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