I hope mine doesn't look like that
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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