oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
