thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
