Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just pee around me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
