Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We have started to decorate penises.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
