So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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