I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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