I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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