We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
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i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
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I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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