I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
